Just a thought

My thoughts won't grace the computer screen or any readers any easier. What I am feeling isn't something that is easily passed on to people.  It's a sadness that is hard to describe without the look of pain and emptiness in the eye of its beholder. It's hard to examine without a chart of all the wounds that have graced my heart in the last few months. My heart is stabbed enough and it's bound to break. There are stitches, sutures, and miracle but nothing touches the crack that's permeating to the center of me.  Nothing can erase this pain, this loss, this emptiness. Am not having what I wanted but passing each day. The way I see life is now in a different perspective. I dont know if am in a negative attitude now but am comfortable this way. I still believe in God.

Our Friendship, A history now

It happened for me to think about friends, my friends, to help a brother to give an idea for his talk about friendship. When I sat alone thinking about my friends, this particular person brought tears. I can go on and on talking about him but I don't want to do that cos He is gone now, gone, completely gone. But the memories we made is remaining strong in my memories. Finally a chance to pen it down, just for a relief.

Its been almost six months since me and my best friend, had a big fight. To be honest with you all, I thought he would've come crawling back to me by now, but for some reason that hasn't happened. If me and him are together we would be having pretty good times going. But now Our friendship is a history and I'm remembering all the moments we shared. The problem is I invested all my time in him and I don't have anyone lined up to take his place.

The things between me and him changed because he's already found himself a replacement friend. Or to be more accurate his parents did. I kept the door open a crack for him, just in case if he wants to save this friendship, he must have done something earlier. Now its too late. But with the way things stand now, He's not gonna come out looking very good in my autobiography. 

But me and him have a really long history together, and there's no point in throwing that away over something dumb. I'm not angry with him or something but I do miss him much. He is a good person to have by my side. I miss you. Loads and loads of love. U just can't imagine it!!!!!

Where are You Taking me???

I don't know since a week I'm feeling to be With Christ. Just He and Me alone. Wanna talk to Him a lot, wanna throw all my questions expecting some answers. I don't know why I'm having this feel but I desperately need some time with Him. When I was a kid and when My mom told about God, I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. I really didn't know Him.
 

But later on, when I met Christ, it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal.I don't know just when it was that He suggested we change
places, but life has not been the same since.When I had control, I knew the way, it was rather boring, but predictable....It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds, it was all I could do to hang on!
Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal!" I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure.

And when I'd say, I'm scared, He'd lean back and touch my hand. He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing,acceptance, and joy. They gave me gifts to take on my journey, my Lord's and mine.And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight.
So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to fly to shorten scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places,and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.
 

And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore, He just smiles and says...... "Pedal..

I blindly trust you Lord. Take me to the right place!!!! 

Change in Heart

I haven't been on in a while, just too busy. Finally am with Vikasa. The field which is opposite to me!!! I'm choosing life daily with some practices which is making me delightful. These alone will not take away the huge challenges of life, but may be its changing my perspective considerably for the better.  

Sometimes it's hard to believe that God can change my heart and mind.Though that is exactly what is happening. First He got me to the doors of "All Alone" to help me get my focus off of others and back onto taking care of my needs. Yes, I have needs and I didn't know them since years. Then now I learned about me and living for me. Later, Lord showed me He is real, He is alive and He hears my plea's. He has confirmed this to many times over, even just my thoughts. Now, He is changing me to stay focused on Him. My natural tendancy is do pay too much attention to others: what they are doing, what they need (or what I think they need) , their reactions and emotions. All to my detriment. With a lot of patience, trial, time and love, I have to love myself enough to WANT to do what He is asking, and believe that He has a plan and the outcome will be far greater than I imagine. 

A blessing in my life

I'm blogging less frequently these days cos of a certain friend with whom am alarming all the time. A friend is someone everyone needs. He is a friend of my youth. Many people are simply met by chance but few are sent our way and they become our special friends. His cheerful laugh makes his life so grand and its even making my life easier. He is apart but his presence enhance me. I am feeling less conscious and more comfortable as I am talking for hours. 

Stories and daily goings are frequently passed. As weeks went on I could clearly see he has brought a different side of me. I learned more from him than from anybody. Its funny how life works out. I'm being taught that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean that you forget the past. It simply means that you move on and treasure all the memories. No matter what happens, life will bloom again and the strength I don't have will come from above. A new friend is a blessing always but good old friends are treasures. I hope you stay in my life as a very good friend of mine. And the dreams we dream must come our way in the next nine months :P

Boss, You are a blessing in my life. I will always be there just to encourage you, as many are there to love you :P

Emotions

I don't like to post forward in my blog. But this particular post I can't help!!! I went through this article this morning and I definitely want to post it here. 

"There is life after Break-ups "!!!!!

The hardest part of loving is let go. It is hard because love makes us want to hold on. The fear of losing it may be intolerable. But like everything else, nothing is permenant. Sometimes we need to cope up with the changing environment. Breaks ups feels like death. First comes shock and disbelief. Then there may be a stage of bargaining, when one tries to convince the other how wonderful the relationship has been and promise to change. Then there might be anger, denial, depression and finally acceptance, all leading to an emotionally intense and painful period. Break ups is the most vulnerable and painful time of life. I think of break ups as a time when "your soul explodes open". I have heard everything from let's party to let's pray. Healing is individual and intimate. 

There are methods to ease our way.

Allow yourself to grieve.

Respect yourself

Self Support

Find meaning

Give yourself space

Try spirituality

Try something new

avoid something who are downers

Be kind

To fall in love is awfully simple but to fall out of love is simply awful. If you feel like crying, do so. If you want be alone, do so. Not everyone goes through the process the same way. Don't feel depressed, lonely, frustrated. Try to find meaning for your life!!!

P:S: Random post like these need not have a personal relevance!!!!!!

Readers Understand ?????? :):)

Children's Sunday - Theni

Sunday school is the most important part in the Church. Sunday school is the premier place where we are obedient to the Scriptural command to teach the Word. Sunday School is a great place for people of all ages to sit down with others and be taught the Bible. Sunday School is also a great place for lost people to be introduced to the church, and to the Bible, and to Jesus.

After long time, I got a chance to attend a children's service in Theni. They gave many programs which was good. When I was listening them just few thoughts crossed my mind which am gonna write here.

In order to be good Sunday School pupils/classmates, follow these simple rules:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, then find something nice to say!

A good Sunday School class requires good discussion. Awkward silences are okay sometimes. But seriously, speak up! When the teacher asks for someone to read a passage of Scripture, don’t let the girls have all the fun!!! :) Hope men you understand.

Listen to your teacher!

Sunday School is a class setting with teachers and pupil after all. As good students of anyone who is teaching the Bible, we should always strive to be good listeners. And, on top of that, we are to be studious as well. When you hear biblical truth, you should always make sure that it is biblical and truth!

"Jews received the word with all eagerness" - Acts 17:11

Respect one another; Play nice;

But seriously Sunday School is one of the best places to get plugged into your church body and minister to one another. Don’t waste time with your fellow church members. Make full use of your time and your gifts. Let’s have a heart to serve one another.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but the same God who empowers them all in everyone.

Sunday school is the place where I learnt so much about Christ and His love for me. The foundation I had in Sunday school is really strong and God is so good in my life. And people who are reading this, If you are a kid enjoy being in Sunday school . Don't even miss even a single Sunday. Christ loves kids so much. And if you are grown up people, make full use of your time, talents for the upcoming generation to mould them in a better way.  Take sunday school seriously and render your service for the kids.

Had a very good time in Theni in the one day retreat.

 

Parents & Children - Education

I'm aware it has been a while since I have posted on what I'm doing now. Stress of life though!! Completing the studies is bringing me down both mentally and physically. I'm constantly tired thinking about what to do next?? The more I meet people, the more I realize how much I have left to do!!! It is a strain on everything. Well, my Sil and I have been getting up early in the past week to reach Vikasa school for observing the children. Its good to be in a diverse environment. I learnt many new things. There is really a lot of changes in the education system. Today's generation are lucky enough to have such a educating campus. Kids who has the passion to learn something in school from the beginning is worth staying in Vikasa. Education is completely a business. Parents spends a lot of money on education. But you know what Parents are the first teachers who should teach their kids properly. Spending lakhs and lakhs for Pre KG and 2 lakhs for 12th is too much even though the education system is updated on technology. This is what I feel after stepping into Vikasa. 

Parents always have high ambition for their children - to do well in studies, to get a good job and be well settled in life. But often its not in the parent's power. Parents can hope but they cannot push their children to come to their expectations. The children often disappoint the parents and the parents find themselves unable to do anything and at the end many of them are heart-broken. The sensitivity of parents concern is one thing and their impotency affecting their child's change is another thing. Don't know why I'm posting this!!! But am sure It will be useful for at least a single soul. I wanted to share my experience in the school but the post is ending up somewhere !!!!      

Expectations

It feels good to have a person to boast up confidence, which I'm in desperate need for now. Sometimes you may not know why a new person is coming in your life but I feel they are coming just to leave a smile in your face. I have got one such person. A new born friend in my life. In the recent days, I feel I want to be independent for a while just independent, away from home, away from the worries, away from the regular schedules!! I want to be in a new crowd, I want to learn something new, I want to have my own routines, I want to visit many countries just to know their battles in life cos everyone in this world has their own battles to overcome. Only when you step out of your crowd you will know How life is treating each soul!!! But wherever I go, I want my friends with me. My best pals to lean on. Bible says, "Even the hairs in your head are numbered". I strongly believe God is in control and He still has a purpose in my life. Lord I believe, Help my unbelief. You are creative, you are amazing!!!       

Blah blah blah

I wish to run a suggestion box to put up a title for each post. I can write on and on in this passage. But when it comes to the title, I'm placing my cursor in the same place for an hour thinking what to title the post. Thats why I have named this post blah blah blah!!! The most awaited call I got a week before. I was happy when I heard the voice. The intensity of the scared feeling is lower than before. Often I try to be strong for those around me but often when I'm alone in the room I feel very bad :( :( I have felt great pain but also great peace and love. Thank heavens for the gospel of Jesus Christ, that provides comfort, and a knowledge that we all can be together again, I mean after death. Without that knowledge I would be lost. How grateful to have a loving Heavenly Father who knows me individually and loves me, for a Savior who took all that pain on himself so I could be comforted and saved, and the Spirit that guides and directs me. I cannot fully express just how blessed I am. Lord is the only hope and that brings me peace.

Sister's Wedding

I was in a great confusion whether to attend my sister's wedding or else to spend time with my friends who are in Chennai. My friends had so much plans and here my sisters as well. I was in no moods to spend time with both of them But I don't want to miss the wedding. So planned for a trip to Nagerkoil. The train journey was comfortable with sisters, Joash, Johan and uncle aunt as well. It was one of those nights after long time together but nothing interesting things happened as all were sleepy. Nivin Anna and Mr.Jeremiah received us. I felt little lonely when I stepped into the house. But then after a couple of hours I got used to. Slept off the whole day and in the evening had a talk with Jeremiah and in the night with my little sister Nithya. Not just this night, Every night We both talked so much, giggled, cried, planned criminally and finally slept off putting legs :P And it was an other night Nivin anna and Nirubz joined us. Days are not just enough when you spend it with your loved ones. 

Every night Nimal was missing as she had to have some sound sleep so that she will be a beautiful fresh pretty gorgeous bride and she was after all the touch ups the beautician gave :):) It was exactly 5:29 PM June 24, Nimal had a change in her name Mrs.Nimal Vijay. Happy for you guys. God bless you abundantly out of Zion with His richest blessings. And now I'm waiting for a Niece to come:):) Hope God grants it soon. And When Uncle gave the garland to you, I had tears in my eyes. Thats the minute I realized I miss you and I love you. You are an innocent sis of mine and will always be.Your wedding was a reason for me to smile even in the midst of sadness. Long live you both. Stay in touch wherever you are. A tight hugs to you both.                    

New Entry , Super Hero

From nowhere in the blew we meet some exciting freaky people full of fun and just the kind of people you want to be with to brighten your hours. I met one such a person in life. He has a nice smile accompanied by a french beard. I understand the most corrupt of people could have the innocent of smiles. I never spoke much when you were around but now I constantly talk wishing I had said this all to you. Even the old things were told in a new way. I like to talk so much about him but sometimes I just don't find the right words for the right people. I wonder and I wish to take life as he takes.


And please understand people who go through this post will think am probably in love with this guy but its definitely not!!!! He is Susikaran and he is getting married next month. All the best to both you guys and We both miss you so much :):):)

June 29,30; July 1,2

 

Chennai Cheyta

This is what deby says today........Wondering what deby woud say on my post and why?????Here goes the reason...She is violently expressive and sometimes the kind of statments she makes looks like they were manufactured in my heart and born in her mouth!!! Had a wonderful "pushing through the darkmile" days in Chennai. Not very different from a loooong hangover. We miss living during the nights and sleeping during the days,instantaneous planning , sheduling and spantaneous decisions. All the things we tried for the first time. Bathing just before appointments,Washing the clothes, eating leftovers, fainting in the beach and pregnant women walk after heavy lunch :P ( when we started this post we sat next to each other and thought we will pour out with all the sad feelings but as we started we realised life is not all that bad.).

There is fun in being messy, beauty in being untidy and love in all stinking hugs :P and fever doesn't always hurt. And sometimes at 2'o clock in the night u feel like playing bluff, and at 5'o clock u realise you are still not sleepy. Ha ha ha. We gigggle as write dis.


But at the end of all this we still feel we would have been much stronger women much nobler girls and real sweethearts if life hadn't given us some twist and turns and that we always don't write what we think before starting to write a blog.

Words Of Comfort

Even though I engage my time with my parents, friends, sisters, I'm still feeling hopeless. I knew that the only solution for all my problems is in Christ. So with a word of prayer, When I opened my Bible expecting Christ to talk to me, He did :) :) I had lot of questions unanswered. One of those is should I still keep confessing the promise verse God gave me years before and should I still claim it??. God replied "You must of course, continue faithful on a firm and sure foundation and must not allow yourselves to be shaken from the hope you gained when you heard the Gospel". Col 1:23. after reading this verse, my hopes are really higher. I'm hoping something favorable to me is gonna happen in few days. I have only few months left. Am crying out, praying for the same thing. With full hopes I slept off that night. 

The very next day when I again opened my Bible to read, God again spoke with me "So also will be the word that I speak - it will not fail to do what I plan for it. It will do everything I send it to do" Isaiah 55:11. Am sure the verse you gave me will never turn to you without fulfilling its work. I'm holding that verse very tightly just confessing it everyday. Now I really trust you so much Lord. My hopes are in you. Lord even before the word comes out from my mouth, You knew it. You knew the plans you have for me. Be more open I need your guidance. I need your love. I need you. You are the fulcrum of my life. My focus is in you and will always be.

Recent Days

Am done with my theory exams. Practicals date are yet to be announced. I just don't know what I'm going to do next. But for now, I'm spending much of my time striving to achieve perfection in every aspect of my life. A very long, lonesome and scary days. My call to Debe lasts for some one hour daily. I'm very glad that when she is down am here to life her up and when I am , she is there through comforting words and verses. Though we are not near, We still hold hands which gives strength to live, a reason to smile, a shoulder to cry and hands to wipe away the tears. Everyone in this world needs a good friend but not everyone gets that. But am lucky, thankfully. The road of life is not easy, we both are slipping a few times but we will raise ourselves up and will reach the best place soon. At least a life with full of peace !!! Hope God is kind enough and grants His grace upon us that we get a peaceful life. 

But I wish to stand as an example that "Someone who trusted Lord in all the ups and downs". I will trust you Lord even if my loss is bigger than I could bear.

Strong Memories

When I was 9 years old, my school closed and my parents were transferred to an other place which is 60 Kms away from our town. As my mom had promotion we were all eager to move to that place. I dint make any friends there. But my brother did easily with my dad's colleagues families kids who are five in number. As days passed, I also joined them as six. We six shared all the normal school and college experiences. We were so different in ages but we were friends regardless. Niruba is the biggest of us in final year MCA, followed by Nimal in B.E 2nd year, Nithya in 10th, Godwin 9th, Livingston 9th, and finally me 7th :):) too small :P They were my friends and my confidence.We always feel the genuine love for one another from the depth of our souls.We always had a smile, a joke, a shoulder or and an ear to lend one another. In fact our favorite thing to do was to have our parents drop us off at Nirub's home, where we will have all long talks with no concept, playing shuttle, carom board, cards, mocking, walking, riding, birthday parties, trip to ooty and hearing songs with few photo clicks.

Our parents had been best friends. We grew up next door to each other, played our way through. I could hardly sit in the class just anticipating the next time I would see them and the evening we would spend together. Being around them is some of the happiest times I had ever experienced. Unfortunately all good things must come to an end so as this happiness. We moved to an other place because of parents transfer again. It was December 23,2005 We shifted our house to Madurai with the feeling which I can't express without tears. Its been seven years but We continue to learn about each other and grow closer!!! 

I drifted back to these memories as I am staying in Nirubs home for my exams.    

Late Night Talks

My sister and I sat in the chair with our large printed materials of the next day's examination (Computers in Education). We were catching up our past seven years of life and hours were not just long enough. Sure We had talked on the phone and occasionally met. But the calls were long distance and it was rare to find a moment when our parents were not around.We discussed her new life as a mother, her latest interview, her pains and happiness. We rarely had late night talks but We found time after seven years to fill our ears with stories and hearts with love. She slowly shared more and more of her own life with me and that made me feel more open with her. We shared experiences and hopes, frustrations and fears. I never knew that my sister will become my friend and it happened that night....Niruba

A Different VBS

Was really waiting for this particular five days( May 21-26) to spend with those loving kids of Mudhugalathur. The day was nearing and I had to get permission from my mom to go. After she moaned, groaned and procrastinated her reply for some 12 hours, She finally agreed. Packed things, went to the office for van, got my window seat, placed headphones in the ears. A small guy sat near with me whose name I never wanted to hear. Very strange and highly irritated when I heard that name, drifted back to those memories and ended up with tears. Aarambamey apdi !!!

Anyways reached the place around 2 and I was all excited seeing those old faces and the new ones as well. As always had a shower as soon as I reached, had food and a little nap. Evening had practice, I sang songs, I don't know I dint sing well in fact I couldn't. Why because the name I heard in the morning sent chills up my spine and neck. A feeling of lost, worthless, confused. But somehow managed wearing a plastic smile. Went in groups to plan for the next day program. Suddenly my mobile ringed loudly after the dinner. It was my friend Blesson from Chennai. He is the one who strikes my mind when I hear the designation "Childhood friend". We both seldom talk but we love each other so much. Its been ages seeing him. His call went on for an hour and old friendship is renewed that night. 

 After hearing Deby,Geetz and Aki in phone tried to sleep. I really missed them cos they 3 were together in Chennai :( :( I tried to sleep but then I couldn't as usual. woke up around 4.30, did my prayers and went for refreshing. In the silent hours of devotion in the morning, My mind started to trouble me again. Wanted to just escape from those silent hours and hear some happy stories from my friends. Aki called and kept talking to change my moods and She finally did it. After the breakfast, four of us headed to our Keela Karmel village for VBS. It was super good I really enjoyed being a part of it. Kids actively participated. By 3 we were back to the place where we stayed the previous night Periya Ilai village. But the sad thing is that as my exams were commenced in three days, I had to leave the VBS and got to reach my exam centre the next day for receiving the hall ticket. I couldn't spend more than a day with them :( :( But even that single day I enjoyed being a part of the team.

And people who read it may have a question now , In what way this VBS is different as the title says????I will tell you why. Its completely a missionary Vbs where some 50 people from different parts join together and conduct Vbs in the 15 villages around Mudhugalathur. 50 are those who are all participated in their church Vbs and still eager to proclaim the Gospel for the persons in those villages. We stay together, have practice sessions, split into groups, have food and in the morning we go to our respective villages for conducting Vbs. The place we stay wont meet all the necessary needs but once in a life time you should have these kind of experiences like sleeping in the open ground, shower in the pool and a queue for food and rest rooms !! :) 

Readers if you are interested in joining hands with us in the coming years , you are most welcome.   

I Preached :):)

When I was asked to preach in Church, My mind boggled."Uncle, U mean ME???" I gasped. "Really???". After they assured me they did want , I really felt honored. But just think of it. ME ! A girl of twenty one who has never preached in church before such a crowd of people elder and elder than me. What will I say to them?? Parents are far older than me. I knew It wouldn't be good If i explain the experiences I had with Christ because I knew they would have gone a mile more with Him. And I knew they never need any long minded speeches.

I thought and rethought. Finally came with an idea to tell them "What I have learnt from my experience". As I gathered these new thoughts I drifted back to my past !!! zoooooooooooooooooooooooing :):):)

When a person asked me who is my inspiration in life, I remained silent for a while and finally spelled out " NOBODY".  

A couple of months after that when my dad *laughed* saying me that when his friend asked about my course am doing in college, and my dad dint even know what course I was studying in college at that time. When he told me this with a smile in his face, I was really shocked but I dint react to him much. I wondered if he is really concerned about me. This particular incident left a mark in my heart. May be people who are reading it may not have any impact with it. But am sensitive.

When It comes to my career , I really don't know If this course is God's Will !!.My parents keep telling me that, " If its God's Will , It will be done". But I always have a doubt that, whether parents are all just speakers about His Will and not doers. 

So having all these in minds , I was determined to talk. When I stood at the podium, All eyes were fixed upon me. I began to speak. I told them I was honored to be addressing them. As it was mothers day , I honored an elder mother of the Church with a small gift calling her in front.And I threw three points before the parents.

Be an inspiration to your kids like David did - I kings 3:14

Be concerned about your kids spiritual and worldly growth like Annal did- I Samuel 2:18,19

To be perfect in the previous two points Walk in God's ways like Moses did- Exodus: 33;13 

and ended the preaching with a song and a Prayer.  :) :) :) A big breath now :) :) :)

I can't count how many time children would have uttered in obvious disappointments" Don't know what is with parents today???" "Yeah, I don't know what is with parents today."

And my dear , dad and mom, I love you, I dint want to hurt you at all . But I am hurt most of the times. Just waiting for the days when you will understand me better!!

Alright!! After the final day program finished and when I heard those good compliments I got from the floor, the happiness I had is just Exemplary.A person can live a month off a compliment, I can for years actually :):) A moment to cherish forever in my life. One of those rare occasions in life. Lovely seven days. Just loved it.I feel blessed.

And my special thanks to all the people who helped me through!!!

ToothBrush

I never had an idea to use toothbrush as a model to make the kids lead a perfect life. It was new to me when He explained the concept behind that toothbrush which we use daily. Am sure It will help the readers if I share it here.

Q:What's the use of TB??

A:We brush with it daily.

Q: who taught you to do this?

A: Parents

Q: How many years they questioned if you are doing it regularly?

A: Till we were 5 or 6

Q:What if you doesn't do it?

A: Bad odor ejects

Q: Next

A: Tooth decay

Q: Mm good , anything else

A: will end up removing teeth.

Q: So what happened to you now?

A: It became a habit and without it we cannot move our day.

Like the same way When Reading the Bible becomes your habit, You cannot move one without reading it daily !!! 

Make it as a habit and Let your life Spread the good odor and be a witness !!

A brilliant concept behind this very small tooth brush. For this whole episode I must thank Edwin Anna!! and today is the Sixth day of our Vbs. Just one more day to go. And that is the final day.

Love Feast

Finally A day to play. Conducted games for all of them including teachers. Started with Beginners who played" pick the item". Followed by Primary" bursting the balloons behind", then Junior enjoyed with" paper walk",and Inter Seniors " finding the pairs". Kids thoroughly enjoyed. And lastly , Teachers had their Bible games :) :) :) " pictures and verses". I was really really really surprised with their active participation. Moving the chairs and running to me with answers, Even throwing the verse chapters in the Bible. Many a times we knew the verse but we may not the know the chapter it takes place in Bible. I was really surprised by them. Super teachers and brilliant kids I had :) :) A day to enjoy I would say.

Inspection Day

The word Inspection reminds me of those days in school when I urge my mom to dress me up neatly,polish my shoes and stuff like that. Except studying will do all those. :P But here , Teachers were in a hurry in reaching the church, arranging their charts, cleaning up their classes. The first few hours were fraught with tension, not to me but to them :) :) Three people threw their questions on each classes and I was really amazed with the answers the kids gave. Noticed that teachers were sincere in their work !! Everyone wants to win but not everybody gets the chance. No matter what happened, whether they make first or not, I think each class were best in their own way. Lovely day:)

Giving Day

There are so many things in life I have received from people around me through Christ. But I wonder if I really deserve it and one question that keeps disturbing me is "what I have done for Him??" Nothing. Absolutely Nothing.

Through mouth -> No. I use it to praise Him but at the same time I fight with people who are in His image.

Eyes -> No. There are a million of things I see which I shouldn't.

Breath -> Nope. Sometimes I breath for others.

Heart -> My heart Skips a beat for a person in this world.

Hands -> Sometimes I do things against His will.

Legs -> Many a times I walk in my own ways.

What Have I done for Him???

How am gonna repay for the blessings I have received from him. I don't know. Suddenly now my heart is heavy and I am choking my tears!!.

Just one life I wanna live it for you. Thats the only thing I can give you.

To conclude,

Today we celebrated "Giving Day in Vbs" :) :) :)

Green Day

Daily had a detailed discussion with my SIL in selecting a saree to wear the next day. And today there was not a problem with the color. As we celebrated Green day , I wore a green color saree and interestingly most of the kids and all the teachers were in green. It looked totally greenish and it was beautiful as well. I explained about the importance of trees and requested them to plant one in remembrance of this Vbs and also for the betterment of the future generation. In the afternoon cleaning day was celebrated and I inspected and allotted marks in accord to their beauty of the class. Was fun. Big fun when they welcomed me for their classes addressing " vaange director Akka" :P :)

Friendship Day Part 2

As we both were sharing the things happened in our centers and when I told him, "I was kind of strict today" He gave me an idea for easy going with the teachers!! I had a packet full of chocolates and in the teachers sharing time I passed the packet asking to take them how much ever they needed it!! They took two,three,four, and one fellow with over excitement of chocs took 17 :):) Any guesses what I asked them to do?? I told them to tell the facts about them for each choc they have!! The 17 chocs guy was in a trouble :P. They started very comically but ended up with testimonies. I was really surprised with the experiences each and everyone around had and having. It turned as a time to praise Lord. Wondered If this chocolate could bring out a person from their walls. And when my turn came, I shared my experience with Christ. The first ever time I did it without tears :):)  Its not that am happy but I'm strong enough to hide the tears!! And am sure teachers had their time with me and understood Am not a terror one :):) Ha ha ha..Actually I am to some people.

And now A big thanks Edwin Anna who helped me to get close to the teachers with the chocolates :):) I'm not really brainy to have these kind of ideas!! So people out there If you have some u can help me.

Friendship Day

Now it’s the seventeenth time I am calling a number but nobody picked in the other end. Tried again. Again no response. Still with hopes tried, and was just waiting for the mobs to display call duration and finally it went on, I was so happy that am gonna hear that long awaited voice. “Paapa Endhri” are the two words which disturbed my dreams: P opened my eyes immediately with unsaid tears. I was happy that my mom interrupted in my dreams, else the whole day would have been worse thinking about the voice, which will definitely kill me. Actually it did already:(:( .

Alright so with a dull mood woke up, splashed water in my face to make myself clear that those were dreams, and then as usual was getting ready disturbing everybody. My mom pleased, “Paapa please en ATM card le poi money eduthtu va”. Ean ma ipdy pandre?? I’m already late. I can’t help in the last minute. It was 8.10 I rushed to the ATM centers in my area. SBI “A big queue”. Axis” sorry ma, money ille machine le”. Indian Bank” A very big queue than in SBI”. Rushed back home, explained the reason, gave the card and started my bike. I was in a hurry to reach the place on time and I did :). As we are celebrating each day with a special significance in Vbs, Today is Friendship day (may3)!! As it was instructed the previous day, Kids brought many new kids and the strength increased to 117 and I gave chocolates to the kids for those who brought the new kids. I was happy that I have got many souls inside the four walls to introduce Christ. I enjoyed being there.

Next Five Years

First I want to congratulate the winning party. This win has given me hope for a better future. I always look at the government which would help the lower class people to come up and show their face out in this world. And as the new government is gonna take its charge, the expectation of the people is really higher than the bar they had with the previous government. Say, Village people are those who turn out and vote for them in large numbers who are really in need even for the basic shelter, food. Students are expecting education technically with a lot of new equipments, Graduates focus is to get settled with a government Job, daily wages people for a hike in salary, and a reduction in cost of living.On the whole people are expecting good road, power supply and anti corruption which is the key to develop our economy.With great trust from people and nothing against conscience AIADMK has got its responsibility to life Tamilnadu more than it was before. And finally hats off to the election commission crew for their super good effort. Worth waiting a month.

Goal for Now

Am being thrown up by a lot of questions in my minds. A lot really. This is leading me to be silent for some period of times. And now its one of those times. Am alone in a crowd. Alone in a company. Feels like am in an other country where people talk different languages which I don’t know. Am just alone!!And I know that no matter to whom I talk, and what I do, at the end of the day am alone again. There are times when I have loved the way I talk, the way I sing, the way I carry myself, the way I love. But now everything I dislike. I hate for what I’m now. How, Why, What, are the few questions that is raising and am clueless to find the answers. I am sick in heart. But it’s quite an interesting time to know who I am and to learn about people around me. To know the **Better me** is the ultimate goal for now.     

Walk In My Ways

The whole week went on with a practice. Didn't hear any other songs other than VBS's. Was really working hard for this one. Even the prior night dint get proper sleep. But unknowingly closed my eyes at 2. It was like only few minutes passed, but Alarm started to shout. As usual turned my alarm off and thought for a while whether to hug the pillow and sleep again or to wake up and get ready. Guess what I did???? Sooper!! you are right. I slept off again hoping I can get up in ten mins. But only when my dad Screamed Paapa after his come back from walking in thirty minutes, I opened my eyes. Even I we grow old , We are always kids to our parents and No matter how beautiful our names are, Parents love calling their kids Papa and thambi :):) and my parents are not an exception in calling like that. 

After my dad's voice, I woke up.With super excitement did my prayers,brushed, had a shower, wore a saree, ate idly and got ready with a little make up:) :) It was 8.10. Started my bike. Drove as if the whole road is being owned by my dad. For sure would have got many scoldings( bad scoldings) from the people on the road. Reached the Church at 8.25. " Paatha Yaarumey Varale".:) then slowly by 8.30 teachers came. I again introduced myself for those who dint present in the planning meet. Started the teacher's devotion with a prayer. I was scared inside but then with confidence I started the session.69 kids turned up with 7 teachers. Sang songs, narrated a story, classes in groups, had lunch, and finally teacher's sharing time. It was a full day Vbs from 9 till 4.I had a lots of time to spend with the kiddos and to hear their family stories.But nobody around me is patient enough to hear my cries :(:( leave it. So with super fun, first day went on. yet to update about the rest of the days. 

Church Of Love Divine

I generally never feel God's Presence in other Churches except the Church to which I belong and Lady Doak College Chapel. Its not that Lord is not present in those churches, He is present everywhere in this world. But I feel His presence only in few places may be because of my mom who kept telling me from the day I started to go with her for Church, "This Church is Lord's house,So must not play!! Be a good girl, Christ is watching you". Even if it happens to attend an other church in some Sundays, I never feel like being in the Church. The fault is not mine anyways :):):) and the Church of Love divine is not an exception for my thoughts. A tones of times I have crossed the Church but I have never been inside , I dint want to also actually.

But it happened for me on  May 1 to go to Church of Love Divine with my mom for the formal introduction as Vbs director for the Church and for the preparatory meet with the teachers. As it was the Dedication day of the Church , the special service went on till 12.30. I was like very tired and hungry also. Around 1 , I met them, gave my agenda for the 7 days, few conditions and rules to be followed. I was really a strict officer that day.:P When I met the teachers who are far away from my age , I dint have an idea how am gonna tell them what all we gonna do in the coming days. With blind confidence started talking to them and explained things. Was fun being the leader for those old people :):):) will post about those seven days soon , very soon.