His Grace

When a critical situation suddenly turns Topsy Turvy

I rush to the outdoors in search of you

Though I know you are with me all the time

I look up at the sky

Just to scream a big thank you

Just to give you a big hug.

You brought me here for a reason, And

Whatever my lot, by the grace that sustains me

I say myself “IT IS WELL with my soul”

His Grace Sustains Me

I am thankful to you Lord for the glorious 26 years of life. I just look back on how far I have come; you knew my every dream, and you were there to make sure I see the dream happening and I find ways to thank you. I look back and see how much you have done for me. In my victory, your power was there; in my sorrow and struggle, my heart still rejoiced in you; when I get favor in the eyes of people, I knew you were there; When there is acceptance, I knew you were there for me; I did not walk alone anytime, guardian angels protected me; When I meet random people, you were there to screen them from life that I will not have bad days; Whatever may pass and whatever may before me, you did not leave me on my own, I was and am carried by your constant grace everyday and had perfect peace all my days; I can’t thank you enough Lord. You are faithful. Your amazing grace sustains me. Use me in mighty ways. I will sing your praises unendingly.

Forever in love

Youknowmyname

Year End Post

For new-year I was away from home. Attended the midnight service at CSI Wesley Church Royapettah and special lunch at my best friend’s place. A day with Shalini, Girish, and Pradeep’s family. Pradeep’s family always welcomes his friends with a broader smile. Thank you uncle and aunty.

Soon celebrated my 25^th birthday. Took off from office, with my best friend visited mall, special lunch at the grill, and a movie. It’s always a joy to know a hostel mate of yours who is also your friend is celebrating birthday on the same date as yours, Sneha Sarah Thomas. We tried the ‘Tovo Infusions’ of Mylapore for dinner. Thank you Reena akka and Chrisa. A birthday well-spent.

In February, somewhere in my thoughts, I decided to pursue PhD. I thought corporate is not my cup of tea. I started to collect information about various universities that offer PhD in Journalism. Valentine’s day, I forgot how I celebrated. It was this month I received my M.A degree from Madras Christian College. The previous night celebrated Pradeep’s birthday and reached Martin Hall really late. I and fragy went to the Heber Hall day to see my best friend. Thank you Amulu for inviting us.

In March too many things happened. Martin Hall day, My best friend’s wedding, resigned work for chasing my dream, met Josh who came to India for wedding, and the top of it is I started to speak to the hero of my life Gidi after a year I guess. I love you so much Gidi boy. You are the best brother I could ever have. I was all set ready for Akilah’s wedding. From pins to the bigger things, I concentrated in everything to stand perfect and celebrate her wedding. I was truly committed in getting ready for the first time.

In April I waved bye to Chennai. Farhath Anna, you were and are so nice to me. The morning shift days were the best we spent together. I enjoyed your pranks, your imitations of Zombie, singer and the mama. I just can’t tell you how much I miss you. Thank you anna for all the good times. I will cherish it forever. Archana Akka, I love you. Be bold. Be happy. God still has a purpose in your life. Fatima, thank you for being a good friend. Saratha ma’am, Sivakami ma’am, Krishna sir, thank you for all the editing techniques imparted to me.

Madhu, I loved your company. Thank you much for being there, for all the encouragements you gave for learning guitar, for all the good moments we had in walking to triplicane in search of chicken, and much more. Reena akka, the beauty queen I miss our chats, hang outs. Synod hostel is one awesome place to be. I miss it.

For Easter Sunday I was back home. I joined Cholan tours for a couple of months as a content writer. I danced for the first time in life for the annual meet. Rakesh, Ashok, Brindha, thank you for being a part of my life. When everybody else owned some gadgets of apple, I wanted to buy one and I bought Apple Ipad in May. I started playing keyboard in the Church.

I visited Periyar University in the month of June and met the Assistant Professor Dr.M.Anuradha. In July I enrolled for PhD. Shanthi akka, a senior scholar, whom I met the very first day. Seniors must be dominating me. It works the other way round here. Shanthi akka, thank you for tolerating all my laziness, and my every stupid thing you are annoyed about. Don’t be irritated soon. You still have three more years to be patient with me.  I will be completing my thesis only because of your extra hand of help in working for ma’am. I love you. Akilah, every time I can’t say I love you to you. Hostel life back in my life again at the Periyar University with Priya, Sowmiya and Kavitha. Kadesh anna, the brother in campus, thank you.

I met Mr.Gnani a writer and a social activist in campus. And I was extremely happy to know that he is a MCCian.

We welcomed Ertiga to our home on my in law’s birthday. We went to Garden City College for a paper presentation. On the way visited Akilah’s home at Hosur. The scary day in the week is Thursday because of the meetings we have in Room No 34. It is good to have a sister in the same town. Niruba Akka, thank you for all the love. We as family went on for a road trip to Goa in October.

In November I had to be in Bangalore for a presentation again in Garden City College. Sunny, thank you being so nice and welcoming. After almost three years, I preached again in a CSI church, Vilangudi for girl child Sunday. Thank you Rev.Kiruba for the opportunity. To my motherly sister Geetha, this month added credits to her career. I am so happy for you geetha.

With the beginning of Christmas season of the year, I felt like missing the MCC alumni choir. But due to flood hitting Chennai very badly, every sort of Christmas program was cancelled in Chennai. We had Christmas carol service at our church. Thank you TTS fellowship guys for the support. Runcie got married and I couldn’t be there. I am so much happy for you.

Finola’s birthday celebrations at home with our fellowship guys and Bani uncle family. Fiona and Finola, I romba neraiya love both of you.

Sam Jebadurai, thank you for the good and bad times we had. We loved less and fought more this year. You are and will always be my pet, and my best friend. I am happy that you are blessed with few other good friends in your life. Have a happy time. Yes, I love you more Amulu. And I do miss the good times we had in the woods. Life has changed so much then for both of us. You also have changed! I will always be there for you no matter what, though I know you will not be.

Fragyma, how can I miss writing about you? You are the best in my life. You know for what. I too much love you. Thank you for all the phone calls and hearing my stupid stories.

Dearest amma and daddy, I love you.

Dearest Godwin and Steffi, you make the home beautiful.

Thank you darling Pavitra, Portia, Diana, Finley, Prason Anna, Spurgeon Sir, Musician John Barathi, Abel anna and every other people who were with me.

With these blessings, 2015 comes to an end.

May God bless all of us most and more.

And the advent season begins!

It's a joy to welcome this most awaited season. There is something this season spreads all over. A season to give, a season to share, a season of carols, a season of bells, a season of cakes, a season of gifts, a season of get together, and a season of lot many things celebrating the birth of Christ.

We joined the Tamilnadu Theological Seminary to welcome the advent season. It's the first of the carol services in Madurai to start the season. Mrs.Lily, the choir conductor of the college, took us to the traditional tune of music. The students of different years singing the carnatic music was awestruck. Good job guys! The North East Christian fellowship rendered two beautiful songs. Guys who were on keys, tabla, guitar, recorder, and every other musical instruments were perfect. Congratulating the choreography team, dance team, front stage organizers, back stage organizers and every one who extended their support to make the programme a grand success. Kavi Anna, you are much missed in the season. Just can't tell how much we all miss you! It's 5 years today that you are not with us. Hope your soul is resting in peace. I love you Kavi Anna.

Our second Christmas of the season was with the central local council north fellowship. Rev.JesuSagayam uncle took initiatives to arrange it. Delicious Uma catering dinner, various gifts, carols and Santa clause.

With the setup of Christmas tree and crib at home, all set ready for celebrating His birthday!

Saved to serve you, Lord. You are the reason for the season.

Glad

I Thank God For You

I thank God for you, Sunny.     

I meet a lot of random people in different phases of my life and they turn to be my friends. This is about a guy whom I met in an interview and now my best friend. 

He is a smart handsome fellow who sat next to me for an interview at Bangalore. We finished the written test and was waiting for the personal round. Meanwhile, we started speaking sitting opposite to each other. From our natives to studies, our conversation started and we finally found out we are related. His call came and he went in. Next was mine. By the time I finished and came he wasn't there. 

A year passed on. Suddenly he came into my mind that I started searching him in social networking sites and found finally. Left a message and there was an immediate reply. Exchanged numbers and started speaking. The friendship was renewed and it's still on. To our surprise our dad's are also friends which we found it in the later part. They were batch mates of the seminary college. 

One year later, we met in my native. Three years later, I had to be at Bangalore for a presentation in a college that I had a chance to meet him in his hometown, stay in his house, eat the delicious food prepared by aunt, to hear the non stop conversations of uncle and to meet shiny. 

Dearest sunny,

I have never told you before, you are one of the blessings in my life and to you I can always be me. You know me well. You remember every little details of my life. Though we don't share the regular happenings, there is something that sparks whenever we speak. And by somehow or the other we get to know things that's happening. 

I thank God for you, sunny. May your dreams be accomplished by His grace. Prayers. 

You are that precious friend and a wonderful darling of mine.  I love you much more. Hugs. Would love to see you again and spend time. 

Unfortunately we don't have a picture together to post it here. 

Lots of love!

Glad

When I Found a Mother in a Friend

I know her for eight years now. We seldom speak, meet. We speak when there is something happening around that's disturbing our lives or we speak when there is a need. Our most of the conversations will be on a conference calls with the other two girls. I always have a reason to reject whatever she says. I never had good opinions for her decisions. When she says yes for something, it's always a no from my side. No idea why there was always a negative reaction. May be I did not trust her decisions or may be I couldn't picture what she says.

All her dreams was fashion, designing, and every other terms related to designs. She jumped from Computer Science to fashion designing. Her first show gave her the hopes for dreaming more in fashion industry as her model stole the best showstopper award. However we missed the show. The fashion show cinemaspice served as a great platform to exhibit her skills. She worked with many well-known and popular artists in the industry for the show. 

With so much fame and recognition following her, I feel extremely happy to see my friend chasing her dreams. However all this is possible because of the man behind her, Calm, ever smiling and a pure gentleman Mr. Dhinesh, her husband. I don't know if Geetha's dream boy was one like him, but I'm sure she is living a dream life with him. 

She looks fashionista and head strong by looks, but she is a perfect girl in every aspects. From cooking to creative works, from a friend to a perfect wife. 

Geetha,

You are a blessing to us. May peace and happiness surround you forever.

Affiliated with Periyar University

Auto Biography of a Baby

Went through this post when I was surfing. Loved it. So just wanted to share. Its worth reading !!!!



 You and mom were unaware that a life sparked to existence the other day. Orgasm. That's what I was called and that's what you thought I was. I heard you and mom crying out in joy. I was happy for that. From then on, I chuckled whenever I heard more and more cries of joy. More and more orgasms, I thought.

I heard your friends praise you and mom, praise your years of indefatigable love. I came to know how wonderful a couple you were. I was proud of that.

When I was beginning to enjoy my anonymity, I heard some sad tales. I learnt how you were gifted by abandonment by your kith and kin against your love marriage. I came to know how lonely you were and how sadly you were starving for relationships. I am here
papa! I am here! I wanted to shout. I never wanted to see you cry.

I remember the day when mom visited the doctor for a minor check-up, only to know that a little life was safely resting in the warmness of her womb. 'You are pregnant!' the doctor said and she cried out in joy and disbelief! You hugged mom and thanked the Almighty with moist eyes.

From that moment, my anonymity was long gone and I was a celebrity attracting all your attention! Daily as soon as you were home, you would say a 'hi' to me by kissing mom on her stomach and would talk to me for sometime. More than mom, I used to await your arrival back home for your 'hi'! And with your 'hi' you made me your best friend. You were my best friend too, papa.

Relaxing myself in the cushion of the womb, I used to enjoy your mock arguments with mom over my gender! While mom wanted a boy, you were desperate for a girl, a girl who would look just like mom. Of course I am a girl papa! How can your best friend ever betray you??

And when the sonogram revealed that the life inside was of a girl's, you jumped in exaltation and victory. Jr. Yashi", that's how you used to call me, and I loved it. What better a pet name than assuming mom's name?? Again, you and mom would debate and quarrel over my real name. No wonder I never was bored inside the womb!

But I found the place inside the womb getting squeezed up day by day. I knew any slightest attempt for freedom might pain mom to death. But one day, I couldn't help but slid down mom's stomach and break free. I was born!!

'It's a girl!!' the nurse announced and only I knew the bounds of your joy coz it showed in your kiss you gave me and mom. Though my tender eyes couldn't see you, some strange force lifted my hand and my fingers clung to your finger, which you had held out for me.
It was my promise to you then, that I would hold your hand forever. You acknowledged my promise with your tears that fell on my forehead. I knew those tears were a result of years of longingness.

Your tears then, were my first showers papa!

When I opened my eyes fully for the first time, all I could see were wires and more wires. I thought I missed mother's womb. I wanted to see you and mom in all my desperation before something told me I wouldn't last long. How terrible it would be to miss the glimpse of my only friends??

Slowly but steadily, everything was blurring out, and I saw two figures running near me crying. I knew it were you and mom. It took my last ounce of energy to keep my eyes open till I could see both of you in all my limited clarity. But yippe I saw you! I saw my mom and dad. Guess how you both looked like?? You and mom appeared to be two fairies to me. Two fairies in a helpless cry though. The expectant look in your eyes said you still had a hope; and I felt I was the guiltiest soul on earth, about to kill the hope in the eyes of you and mom! God would never forgive me. You held out your finger to me but alas it was too late. 


Before I could lift the hand, everything faded out like a distant dream.

Who would ever want to miss life with such a wonderful mom and dad??
My friends here asked my name and I was endlessly happy when I told I was Jr.Yashi. I thought, in a way, I wouldn't have had the privilege of assuming that name had I lived any longer. My friends also discuss something about savoring mother's milk, swinging in the cradle, playing with their first toy, sleeping in mom's lap etc. And when they asked me what I enjoyed the most, I said I enjoyed your hi's the most papa. I said I enjoyed the love in my first showers. More than everything, I said I enjoyed being born to you and mom. What else matters to me my papa??

And what was my last wish do you know?? My only wish then was to know how I looked like. I knew how you would have loved to say I looked just like mom. Instead, you kept weeping and I wasn't sure I looked like mom. Did I?? Did I look like mom, papa??

I would get drenched in your love whenever you shed tears for me. Every time you say a 'Miss you' from down there, it's an 'I love you' to me up here. I want to say I love you too, but I miss my voice. I want to shout from here that I love you both; but alas my vocal chord was muted.

I knew I broke my promise of holding your hand forever. But papa, I never knew my 'forever' would be so very momentary, like a passing cloud.

God here actually granted me to be reborn to someone else. But I said I would wait for a lifetime to be born only to you and mom. If I have another life, it would only be with you and mom.

Won't I ever get a second chance papa?? Because I miss you. I miss mom.

Oh Papa! I miss my life.

The End

A distant dream

Not sure, when I decided to pursue my research studies. I think its sometime between mid Feb that I was going through various university websites, professor's profiles, and eligibility criteria to apply for the course. Meanwhile, I quit my work and relocated to home town in a hope that I would be pursuing my doctoral programme. With a random dotted knowledge of research studies, I contacted a professor of a university who disappointed me with a negative answer. 

I had no clue how am I going to take it forward. Every time when I decide something and boast about it, I end up not holding it. It will just pass through my life and will not stay with me. PhD is also one of that kind which  gave disappointments in the initial stage. 

I received a phone call from my friend, that a university has vacancy for PhD research scholars in Journalism and Mass Communication Department. The next minute I rang the head of the department to find out if I could be admitted. His answers again did not please me. I felt disappointed. I went through the university profile again to check if there are any known or related faces in faculty profile. And I found this faculty's profile to be somewhat matching with the religion. I immediately called him up. He was the one who gave hopes that I can and will do PhD and he will help me in admitting at the university. He directed me to a lady guide and made sure she accepts me. 

With no further delay, myself and my dad came to university to meet her. A senior research scholar of the guide welcomed and she gave all hopes to do PhD and I was almost selected for the programme. My dad said not to miss the chance. I discussed her about my topic, she nodded yes and we left then. I filled the application and sent it. In between, mam called asking to write a detail proposal on the topic and I did do. 

On July 9th, Myself, bro and dad drove towards university early morning to check hostel and meet ma'am again. It was purely God's grace that I immediately got admission in hostel also in spite of me not having an admission form or college Id. Paid my fees and left campus. A sigh of relief.

On July 15th I joined in the department under my guide. The other side, my friend who informed me about the university joined M.Phil under the same guide. And we sat next to each other.

On 10th October, I  was officially confirmed as a PhD candidate of the university with a formal entrance exam and an interview with a panel of five. The same friend brought juice to cheer me up for attending the interview.

With all the excitement, and witnessing the distant dream is just happening in front of my eyes, I'm thankful to the Lord Almighty for all his grace and wisdom that still keeps me happy.

Lord, the way you have blessed my life is more than I deserve. 

Will be holding a doctorate degree and my dream of signing in green ink will be accomplished hopefully soon. 

Gladious Ranjini

PhD Research Scholar

Periyar University

Under the Supervision of 

Dr.M.Anuradha

The faculty who helped me - Mr.Vimal

Head of the Department - Dr.M.Natarajan

The senior scholar who welcomed me - Ms.Shanthi

The friend is Akilah, who else it would be :)