Our Friendship, A history now

It happened for me to think about friends, my friends, to help a brother to give an idea for his talk about friendship. When I sat alone thinking about my friends, this particular person brought tears. I can go on and on talking about him but I don't want to do that cos He is gone now, gone, completely gone. But the memories we made is remaining strong in my memories. Finally a chance to pen it down, just for a relief.

Its been almost six months since me and my best friend, had a big fight. To be honest with you all, I thought he would've come crawling back to me by now, but for some reason that hasn't happened. If me and him are together we would be having pretty good times going. But now Our friendship is a history and I'm remembering all the moments we shared. The problem is I invested all my time in him and I don't have anyone lined up to take his place.

The things between me and him changed because he's already found himself a replacement friend. Or to be more accurate his parents did. I kept the door open a crack for him, just in case if he wants to save this friendship, he must have done something earlier. Now its too late. But with the way things stand now, He's not gonna come out looking very good in my autobiography. 

But me and him have a really long history together, and there's no point in throwing that away over something dumb. I'm not angry with him or something but I do miss him much. He is a good person to have by my side. I miss you. Loads and loads of love. U just can't imagine it!!!!!

Where are You Taking me???

I don't know since a week I'm feeling to be With Christ. Just He and Me alone. Wanna talk to Him a lot, wanna throw all my questions expecting some answers. I don't know why I'm having this feel but I desperately need some time with Him. When I was a kid and when My mom told about God, I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. I really didn't know Him.
 

But later on, when I met Christ, it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal.I don't know just when it was that He suggested we change
places, but life has not been the same since.When I had control, I knew the way, it was rather boring, but predictable....It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds, it was all I could do to hang on!
Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal!" I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure.

And when I'd say, I'm scared, He'd lean back and touch my hand. He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing,acceptance, and joy. They gave me gifts to take on my journey, my Lord's and mine.And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight.
So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to fly to shorten scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places,and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.
 

And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore, He just smiles and says...... "Pedal..

I blindly trust you Lord. Take me to the right place!!!! 

Change in Heart

I haven't been on in a while, just too busy. Finally am with Vikasa. The field which is opposite to me!!! I'm choosing life daily with some practices which is making me delightful. These alone will not take away the huge challenges of life, but may be its changing my perspective considerably for the better.  

Sometimes it's hard to believe that God can change my heart and mind.Though that is exactly what is happening. First He got me to the doors of "All Alone" to help me get my focus off of others and back onto taking care of my needs. Yes, I have needs and I didn't know them since years. Then now I learned about me and living for me. Later, Lord showed me He is real, He is alive and He hears my plea's. He has confirmed this to many times over, even just my thoughts. Now, He is changing me to stay focused on Him. My natural tendancy is do pay too much attention to others: what they are doing, what they need (or what I think they need) , their reactions and emotions. All to my detriment. With a lot of patience, trial, time and love, I have to love myself enough to WANT to do what He is asking, and believe that He has a plan and the outcome will be far greater than I imagine.